A Brownie and a Book

I'm not a brownie person.

That's exactly what I told the waitress at the Nosh Kitchen Bar in Portland, Maine, when she suggested I try the Betty Ford Brownie. "It's just a brownie?" I said, thinking this was probably a mistake.  

"I'm not a brownie person either," she replied. "But I really like this dessert."  

So I tried it.  And she was right, it was a winner.  The Betty Ford Brownie seems less like a brownie and more like an exotic chocolate square.  You need a fork to eat it.  It comes served on a plate decorated with ribbons of chocolate sauce and a mound of whipped cream off to the side.  The brownie itself is composed of three layers.  The bottom layer is chocolate chip cookie, but the cookie is so soft and chewy it's more like really good chocolate chip cookie dough. The next layer is oreo cookie, and in this layer you get large pieces of oreos, molded into a square which is sitting on top of the chocolate chip cookie layer.  Finally, the top layer is a thick layer of chocolate fudge brownie, probably about a quarter of an inch thick, which pulls the whole dessert together.  The flavors worked really well together, and somehow, resulted in a dessert that was not too sweet but incredibly flavorful.  I highly recommend the Betty Ford Brownie, even if you are not a brownie person!

The question of whether or not you are a brownie person, and whether you can still enjoy a great brownie-like dessert even if you are not, reminds me of a major life decision I made approximately fifteen years ago.  

I had a two year old daughter at the time, and a baby on the way.  I was working full time, and had been for six years.  I enjoyed my work very much, and had pretty much built my identity around my work.  It was what I had wanted to do since high school, possibly since grade school, and I was doing it! And doing it well!  But my life was pulling in a different direction, and I was wrestling with the decision to become a stay at home mom.  

A stay at home mom? Me?  That's not what I had worked all those years for, and that's not why I went to college and grad school.  Quite possibly, had there been such a category, I would have been voted "person least likely to become a stay at home mom."  But still, something was telling me to make a change. 

It was a difficult decision. It was all I talked about and thought about for a solid three months. During this time, I found myself talking to a mom who attended the same gymnastics "Mom and Me" class that my daughter and I attended.  I'm not sure how the topic came up, and I don't even remember the mom's name. But I do remember, almost as if it were yesterday, when she suggested that I read a book called "Sequencing."  She said that it was about the fact that women can have it all, but maybe not all at the same time.  She offered to let me read her copy, and I said that sounded like a good idea.  The very next class she brought the book for me, and told me not to worry about returning it, that I should keep it. And I did.

The book really helped. And I did decide to stay at home with my children, which I count as the best decision I have ever made.  It would probably take a host of blog entries to fully cover the nuances of the decision to stay at home, and I know and fully respect that it is not the right choice for everyone.  I myself have explored many permutations of being a working mom in my almost eighteen years as a mom;  full time, half-time, part-time, very-part time, and, fifteen years ago, no work at all.  But what I want to celebrate today actually, is the book, and the mom who gave it to me.  She barely knew me.  I don't remember her name, and frankly, I'm not sure I even knew it back then. But she must have sensed in me, a fellow mom, a fellow human being, a great struggle.  And she went out of her way to help me in that struggle.

I still have the book.  It's a reminder of a decision that I made.  But it's also a reminder of what people can do for each other.  I don't think that mom ever found out what I actually decided.  I would love to tell her, but mostly, I would like to thank her.  

It's amazing what a small act of kindness can do.  That book helped to change the course of my life.

Are you a brownie person?  Even if you're not, I bet there's a great brownie out there for you too! Have a great week!   

Pudding, Expectations, and a Lesson

I have wanted to try the Salted Caramel Butterscotch Pudding at the Yard House in Dedham, Massachusetts, for months.  Doesn't that sound like a great dessert?  I have so looked forward to this dessert that I was almost certain it could not possibly live up to expectations.  Well, I am happy to report that it did.  What I loved most about it was that it was a true salted caramel dessert. These days, it seems like everyone is serving some version of a salted caramel dessert, and most of the time, there is barely any salt worth speaking of.  Not so with this dessert, as the salt pleasantly came through loud and clear. The flavors in this pudding were just wonderful.  The butterscotch was robust, and the rich ribbon of caramel running through the pudding added a delicious twist.  You could really taste the salt with the caramel.  All of the flavors were strong, and rather than compete with each other, made for a very tasteful dessert experience. The pudding was served with a dollop of whipped cream and topped with cookie pieces, which appeared to be oreo cookies.  Although the cookies added a nice crunchy texture, this dessert was really about the salt, caramel, and butterscotch, and it was a winner.  

How often is something that we look forward to as good as we hoped it would be?  I have a funny story about expectations.  And humility.  

When my children were very young, I auditioned for the Tanglewood Festival Chorus, which is the chorus for the Boston Symphony Orchestra.  Around the second year of my time with the chorus, my children were old enough to start coming to my concerts out at Tanglewood, which is the summer home of the BSO.  My husband would find a nice section on the beautiful Tanglewood lawn, and my family would listen to the music having a picnic, sitting on large blankets.  I was glad they were there, but I kept thinking that they really needed to actually see the concert and watch what was happening.  I was still in the early stages of my singing with the group, completely enthralled with the very idea that I was up on the risers behind the Boston Symphony Orchestra. 

For one particular concert, the weather forecast was not optimal, and I discovered that chorus members could reserve seats on the green benches all the way in the back of the Shed (concert hall).  I was excited to have my family within the Shed, watching the chorus and the orchestra and enjoying the magic of what I was doing.   And so, I made sure to reserve seats on the green benches and told my husband where to find the seats.  I could see, from my spot on the stage, the images of my three children and my husband making their way to their seats.  I was pleased!  

After the concert, I found my family, and excitedly asked what they thought of the music.  They said nice things, as they always did.  I specifically asked what they thought about being in the Shed, and actually getting a chance to watch the concert.  I was sure they had loved the whole experience.  

My middle daughter, six years old at the time, looked up at me and said, "Well, it was good, but there's no place to look except the stage.  When we're on the lawn, we can look all around.  We can look at the sky, or at the lawn, or at the other people.  We can look all around.   But when we're in there, there's no other place to look."  

There is nothing like children to keep you humble.  I decided to be less self-impressed from that moment on, and I did not ask my little children to sit on the green benches again.  My family continued to support me at my concerts; my children pretty much grew up on the Tanglewood lawn, immersing themselves in the culture, the beauty, and yes, the music, which they could hear loud and clear from their blankets.  And when I would see, from my spot on the stage, three little figures appear just behind the green benches, to take a quick peek at what was happening on the stage, it melted my heart.  I knew they were not coming up there because they were oh so impressed by the fact that I was singing behind the BSO, or because they wanted to see a world famous orchestra and a great big chorus.  It was because they loved their mom.  

Try a dessert you've been looking forward to!  And have a sweet week!

Peanut Butter Perfection and Neighborhood Connections

Today, I am pleased to review my all-time favorite ice cream flavor, Vanilla Peanut Butter Chip!  I have tried many, many permutations of peanut butter themed ice cream: chocolate-based ice cream with peanut butter, chocolate-based with peanut butter cups, vanilla-based with peanut butter cups, peanut butter-based with chocolate chips, peanut butter-based with oreo, and the list goes on.  Vanilla Peanut Butter Chip is quite simply, hands down, the best. The only place that I have been able to find it is in Westwood, Massachusetts at Bubbling Brook.

This is a vanilla-based ice cream. The vanilla is a traditional sweet cream vanilla (as opposed to the more spicy vanilla bean).  There are thick ribbons of peanut butter running throughout the ice cream, alternating with pieces of chocolate that fall somewhere between a chocolate chip and a chocolate chunk. Although the flavor is called Vanilla Peanut Butter Chip, the 'chips' are not your average chocolate chips.  First of all, they are bigger, and are square or rectangular in size.  They are not quite as thick as chocolate chunks, but they pack more concentrated chocolate flavor than your typical chocolate chip, and provide a nice contrast in texture.  There are ample amounts of both peanut butter and chocolate chips (pieces) in this flavor.  The sweet vanilla, plus the peanut butter, and finally, the chocolate pieces, all work together beautifully. This is precisely what a peanut butter ice cream should be!

Bubbling Brook, the only place to find my favorite flavor, is that wonderful kind of small town eatery where odds are you will know the wait staff, the person scooping your ice cream, as well as the person standing next to you in line.  In today's busy world I think it's important to celebrate the connections we make with people in our day to day lives.  No matter where you live, there are those people who become part of your circle.  Perhaps it's the postman, the dry cleaner, or the waiter at your favorite diner.  Kia was one of those people for me.

Kia worked at my favorite supermarket, bagging groceries.  She was young, probably in her 20's.  She worked hard and took pride in her work.  She had a beautiful smile and a kind face, the kind of face that was a clear window to a beautiful soul.  Kia was like a little ray of sunshine, and she was one of those people whom you knew were genuine and good, to the core.  I always looked forward to Kia being the bagger on my checkout line.  

Tipping your grocery bagger was discouraged at this store, but many chose to do it anyway.  When I would try to tip Kia, she would often say "No, no tip. You pray for me.  That will be my tip." 

After years of seeing Kia in the checkout line, suddenly she wasn't there anymore.  I discovered, years later, that Kia passed away from a brain tumor. I was deeply saddened, and also full of regret that I had not made the effort to contact her after she left the supermarket.  To this day, I hope that Kia knew how much of an impact she made, and how much she brightened our days.  I have a feeling that Kia probably would tell me not to worry about it if she were here today.  She was the kind of person who seemed to operate on a different plane from everyone else.  But still, I hope she knows.  

Today, I want to thank some people in my circle.  Thank you to Al, who used to work at the post office, who always greeted people by name and asked about their day, even if you were just there to buy stamps.  To Rocky, who collects the trash and recycling with a great smile, who looks out for the dog and works hard and is always happy.  And to my friends at Bubbling Brook, for taking the time to chat about new flavors, for listening to my incessant requests for Vanilla Peanut Butter Chip,  and for putting this great flavor back on the menu.  

Thank someone in your circle today! And find some time to enjoy your favorite ice cream flavor!

Gelato Guide and a Bike Ride

Recent European travels provided a great opportunity for some blog research. Gelato! Europe is the absolute perfect place for a gelato tour.  

My first stop was at a little gelato shop in France, in the resort town of Bandol. I tried the caramel gelato.  It was impossibly creamy, and the caramel taste was deeply rich.  This was an adult gelato, a mature and not-too-sweet gelato, light but with serious taste and wonderful texture.  

My next gelato stop was in Lucca, a small city in Italy. They had an abundance of choices at this gelato shop, and I chose two flavors, strawberry and banana. The gelato was cool and smooth, and the fruity combination worked perfectly together.  The banana, in particular, was a standout, somehow taking the banana flavor and elevating it to something else entirely. The flavor was not overpowering, and the creamy consistency worked extremely well with the subtle flavor.  

In Rome, I tried something called Grom, which the store clerk told me was similar to what we know as ice cream in America. I picked Stracciatella, which was vanilla-based with small chocolate chips.  I have to say, I was not all that impressed with Grom;  it lacked the creamy texture of the previous gelato flavors, and fell short in comparison to American ice cream. I would say it tasted like a watered-down version of ice cream.  

The final stop on my gelato tour was in Barcelona, Spain. I chose Stracciatella again, and this time it did not disappoint. It was lighter and creamier than both the Grom and the chocolate chip ice cream that we have in the US.  It was vanilla-based with chocolate chips and chocolate shavings, and had more chocolate than chocolate chip ice cream usually has.  It was a good choice, with the creamy vanilla balanced by chocolate pieces and chocolate shavings in every bite.  

My favorite of all the gelato flavors I tried was probably the caramel, with the banana a close second. On the whole, gelato is lighter than ice cream, and seems to be a healthier choice because of its lighter consistency.  Which leads to the perhaps false assumption that you can eat a lot of it! Luckily, I had the opportunity to work off some of the gelato on an old fashioned bike ride in Lucca, Italy, which was one of the highlights of my trip.

The city of Lucca is a walled city, with a wide, paved pedestrian and bike path at the top of the wall.  My family and I rented bikes to ride the two mile circumference of the city, which is a great way to see all of Lucca from a bird's eye view.  As you ride, you can look down into the city, and every few minutes there is a paved path to ride down into the city and explore. The day we rented bikes it was in the mid-90's, but I refused to let that deter us from our ride.  I zoomed away on my bike, while trees, flowers, and beautiful Italian buildings whizzed past.  The breeze provided a nice diversion from the heat, and I just wanted to keep riding, to experience the city from my bicycle. My oldest daughter caught up to me and said, "You ride shockingly fast for someone who could barely climb the Leaning Tower of Pisa."

Indeed, the climb to the top of the Leaning Tower was a struggle for me, and truth be told, I am not a huge fan of regular exercise unless it involves walking my dog or a yoga mat.  But bike riding, now that's a different story.  I'm not talking about serious biking, which again, is beyond my capabilities.  I'm talking about 'going for a bike ride,' like in the 1970's, on a bike with a bell and a flower basket.  I grew up during that glorious time when kids could take off on a bike for hours and no one worried.  I spent many a summer day riding my bike up and down our street, or better yet, riding down the street to the dirt path, past the giant rock, and down the long dirt road to the lake.  In elementary school, I had a series of one-speed bikes with back-pedal brakes and a banana seat. In the fifth grade, I graduated to an orange-red ten speed, and that became my forever bike, which came along with me years later when I went to college.  During most of my childhood, any day that wasn't raining involved a bike ride of some type, whether it was to find friends, to ride off to the lake, or simply to ride up and down the street and practice riding with no hands.  

It's nice to know that the best parts of our childhood never really go away.  It was quite special to find my 11-year-old self on a rented bike in Italy, and to see that my forty-something-year-old self could actually keep up with her.

Tap into your inner child this week! And take a sweet treat along for the ride! 

Frosting and (Inter) Faith

Let's talk about frosting.  I am a big fan of buttercream frosting.  I prefer buttercream to sugary frosting.  However, some buttercream is too rich, so that you feel like you've had enough after a few bites.  I have actually found a really delicious frosting, which is neither butercream nor sugary frosting.  It's perfect, and it's at Cheryl Ann's Bakery in Brookline, Massachusetts.   Cheryl Ann's is a pareve and kosher bakery, so there is no dairy at all in their baked goods, or their frostings.  No butter, milk, whey, etc.  I have no idea what they put into their frostings and baked goods without these beloved items, but they really get it right.  Choices of frosting at Cheryl Ann's include white, light chocolate, fudge chocolate, and non-dairy whipped cream.  The light chocolate is very enjoyable--it's much lighter than regular chocolate frosting, and is similar to their white frosting in texture but has a subtle chocolate flavor.  It is a great topping to Cheryl Ann's cakes or even when used as a cake filling.  But in my opinion, the white frosting is the one that is not to be missed.   It can be found on their cakes, cupcakes, and their decorated sugar cookies.  The flavor is somewhere between a good buttercream and a sugar frosting;  it has something special about it that I really can't describe.  I literally could eat a vat of their white frosting if it was put in front of me.

I discovered Cheryl Ann's because one of my children is allergic to milk. Otherwise, I would never have known the joys of a kosher bakery--delicious breads, excellent cookies, and yes, amazing frosting.  Experiencing other cultures and traditions is a wonderful thing.  

I had a first-hand look at a number of cultures, of the religious kind, when I attended an interfaith service a few months ago.  If you have never been to one, I urge you to go.  The service was a service of healing, in response to the Boston Marathon bombings. The faiths that were represented that night included Jewish, Catholic, Muslim, Congregational, Methodist, Baha'i, Episcopal, Quaker, and Evangelical.  Each representative leader of the faiths gave a short reading or sermon.  They walked in pairs, and took turns standing in front of those gathered, sharing thoughts and spiritual reflections. A rabbi walked with a leader from the Baha'i community, a priest walked with a Quaker leader, an Evangelical pastor walked with a Muslim leader, and so on. A soloist led a sung response.  A pianist played a haunting and emotional Brahms piece.  At the end, everyone held a candle, and the faith leaders came down to light the candles of those in attendance.  It was particularly fitting that the leaders giving the flame were not necessarily of the faith of the person receiving it.  

There was a beautiful sense of calm at this service.  There was also a poignant unity.  All of the readings were grounded in similar principles of a quest for peace, guidance, and comfort.  It was wonderful to see the similarities of the assembled faiths, and to see that despite our differences, we share a great deal.  Indeed, I think we all share more than we realize, in faith, and in life.  

Look out for those opportunities to share with one another, or to experience something that is different from your own corner of the world.  The results are inspiring.  Have a fantastic, frosting-filled week!

Cookies and Courage

It's cookie day!  I recently found three great cookies at Sugar Bakery (Roslindale and West Roxbury, Massachusetts).  The Snickerdoodle, Trailblazer, and Lots O Chip were all good choices and did not disappoint.

The Snickerdoodle was a soft and buttery cookie topped with a perfect balance of cinnamon and sugar.  The combination of sugar and cinnamon was just right, and the texture of the sugary topping was delicate and light, a perfect accompaniment to the cookie underneath.  The cookie itself was cooked to perfection; just soft enough to be chewy, allowing for the buttery flavor to shine through.

The Trailblazer cookie featured a mixture of oats, cranberries, chocolate chips, and almonds.  It reminded me of a trail mix bar, but much sweeter and less dense.  The cranberries were featured prominently in this cookie, with the almonds taking a supporting role.  The chocolate chips nicely counterbalanced the cranberries, with the oats pulling it all together.  A very pleasant cookie, less rich than the Snickerdoodle, presenting perhaps a healthier, but still tasty, cookie offering.

The Lots O Chip was my favorite Sugar Bakery cookie.  A twist on the traditional chocolate chip cookie, it had white chocolate chips, milk chocolate chips and butterscotch chips.  The cookie itself was a good consistency--chewy but not too soft.  The butterscotch was a welcome flavor addition amidst the contrasting white and milk chocolate, and it made the cookie interesting to the last bite.  As I am a big chocolate fan, I was pleasantly surprised at how much a little butterscotch can elevate a chocolate chip cookie experience.

As it is cookie day today, and 'C is for Cookie' (Thank you Cookie Monster), I wanted to share a story about courage.  C is also for Courage.

A middle school student wanted to participate in Day of Silence which was being held at school.  The purpose behind Day of Silence was to highlight the struggles that students face due to bullying because of sexual orientation. Wearing a particular color would enable students to stand up for LGBT students everywhere who feel silenced.  On the Day of Silence, students could wear blue to participate, or they could wear black and vow to stay silent for the entire day, to symbolically support those who are silenced.  Or, they could wear neither blue nor black and not participate at all.

The middle school student really wanted to participate, but was very conflicted about what color to wear.  You see, the student had historically been the subject of some careless and false gossip about sexual preference, based entirely upon false stereotypes.  The unfortunate gossip always hurt.

So what to do?  Wear blue or wear black?  Support the cause as a bystander, like most students, or really support the cause by wearing black and staying silent in tribute?  That's what the student really wanted to do, wear black. But what would the fallout be?  Would wearing black serve as a false confirmation to the gossips?  Would it start another round of false and careless rumors? Simply wearing blue would show support, and wouldn't that be enough? Because when you are twelve years old, how much do you really need to put yourself out there?  

Then again, twelve years old is a good time to show yourself and the world what you're really made of.  

A tough one indeed.

And on the Day of Silence, the student got up in the morning and put on a black shirt.  The student was one of only four seventh graders to wear black that day, and got to participate in a special breaking-the-silence ceremony with all of the students in the school who wore black.  The student left school feeling a part of something important, and feeling happy.  And nothing was 'confirmed' for the gossips, except for the fact that the student was a great kid, who really wanted to support a great cause, and did it courageously and proudly with some other great kids.

What a wonderful choice the student made.  What a courageous and caring choice, to disregard social backlash in order to follow one's heart and support others.

I hope someone gave that kid a cookie that day!  Have a great week.
 

Cheesecake Facts and Balancing Acts

Let me start by saying that I am not a big fan of cheesecake.  Plain cheesecake filling and graham cracker crust leave me wanting more, which is probably why I am a big fan of Cheesecake Factory cheesecake.  The options are varied and plentiful, ranging from Wild Blueberry White Chocolate to Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough to Caramel Pecan Turtle.  One of my absolute favorites is Chris' Outrageous Cheesecake. The top layer is a toasted coconut-pecan frosting, with an emphasis on the coconut.  Next is a layer of chocolate cake, and then comes the cheesecake itself, which is a chocolate chip coconut cheesecake. The bottom layer is a thick, rich brownie.  I particularly like the contrast in texture between the light chocolate cake on top and the dense fudge brownie on the bottom.  The cheesecake in the middle nicely breaks up the two.  The toasted coconut within the frosting, echoed by the coconut within the cheesecake, ties it all together.  The pecan is more of an accent, or a subtle accompaniment to all of the coconut and chocolate.  The dollop of whipped cream, served with the cheesecake, is a wonderful, cool finish to a rich collection of decadent flavors.  

There's a whole lot going on in this cheesecake, but it really works. For me, with dessert, the busier the better.  Add something else--one more ingredient, topping, flavor.  But the balance has to be right in order for it to work.  It can be that way in life too, which is how I ended up becoming a dog lover.

Some people are born animal lovers.  I was, I have to admit, not born that way.  I grew up with pets, but my pets and I were pretty much pleasantly coexisting.  In my mind, I didn't really have the time.  Fast forward to my adult life and my kids routinely asked if we could get a dog.  No, I always said. We do not have the lifestyle for a dog.  You all have too many activities. There are too many allergies for this to work for our family.  I am not a dog person.

And then, life got complicated and even more busy.  It was a very anxious time, and I was looking for something that would refocus me away from my own concerns. I decided I needed to get out of my own head, and take care of something else.  Yes, I was already taking care of children, but the kids were pretty self sufficient at that point.  Amidst all of the internal and external chaos, I inexplicably decided that the solution would be to get a dog.  

I went into research mode, and decided on a breed that my allergic husband had tolerated well when he was a child. I thought about getting a rescue dog, and called the head of the schnauzer rescue organization in our area.  As it turned out, there were no rescue dogs at that moment, but the person I called was a breeder, and had older puppies that were trained and were looking for homes.  My children were both ecstatic and a bit in shock that I had had such a change of heart.  We took a road trip and had an interesting experience meeting the bloodline for the puppies--lots and lots of yapping dogs running around, introduced as the mother, grandmother, uncle, and cousins of the puppies we were there to see.  It was, in a word, overwhelming.  Finally the puppies were announced and scampered in to join the fray.  Amidst all the chaos, one little puppy quietly walked up to me.  That's how I met Kadie. 

Kadie became part of our family within the week.  It was as if she had found us, and found me, just when I needed her.  In those early weeks and months, it was incredibly soothing to hold her, have her sit in my lap, even to simply watch her in our yard.  I became a dog person to the fullest extent.  My parents would come to visit, watch me with our new dog, and ask what had happened to their daughter and what had I done with her.  I would just laugh and continue happily holding Kadie.  This was me now.  Kadie had changed me, and helped me, and I was now, proudly, a dog lover.  

Kadie has been with us for over three years, and is now often referred to as my fourth child.  I'm still not sure why adding one more thing to the mix was such a help, but I'm thankful that it was, and I'm thankful that it was Kadie. The addition of a little dog balanced my life in exactly the way that I needed. 

Sometimes too much is just enough.  With cheesecake, and with life.

Have a sweet, balanced week.